This is the last time I'm going to say this..

Awhile ago, when I first came across the world of mommy bloggers and Twitter moms, my first thought was 'Yay! Friends! Someone else who shares my pain, my experiences, my brand of diapers!'

In my head were visions of us skipping through the meadow, long blond hair flowing in the breeze, holding hands and singing the theme song to The Backyardigans...

Oh boy was I apparently mistaken. (And not only because I don't even have blond hair.)

Don't get me wrong. There are some seriously kick ass Moms (with a capital M) out in the Twittersphere. Those are the cool Moms. The A Group Moms. The ones I can only imagine were Homecoming Queens, and only gained weight in their belly's when pregnant.

I won't name names...but I'm looking at you @sdmomfia.

But there is a small group (thankfully) of moms that get on my last nerve.

I'm sure I'm not going to make any friends here by saying this but I already have friends, thankyouverymuch. And it's my blog, so suck it.

The moms I'm referring to are those judgmental little B's who troll, not only Twitter, but Facebook too, looking for a chance to tell you what you are doing wrong and why. Like someone out there made them Lord all mighty of the Moms. All knowing and all seeing in the world of child rearing. The be all, end all, of motherhood.

True story:
Commented a friendly comment in reply to something a friend had posted on Facebook.

Insert judgmental mom who is not only NOT my friend, but I don't know this woman. So I most defiantly could not give a crap of her opinion on my parenting style or the fact that I have read and used the BabyWise method of sleep training.

Really?! I mean REALLY?!

Excuse me, who are you again? And your name is...?

This woman proceeded to berate me on my lack of love for my Boogie because I have let her cry it out, via the Facebook page of a mutual friend. Huh?

**** Let me just stop right here and clarify something. I DO NOT ignore my child. I have, however, let her cry herself to sleep in order to get her on a sleep schedule starting when she was about 12 days old. The result? I have a happy, healthy, intelligent 10 month old who slept through the night at 7 weeks old. She has a regular sleep schedule, rarely cries and can self soothe better than most adults I know.  Does this work for everyone and their child? No. Will I beat you over the head if you go to your child when she cries? No. Why? Because it's none of my damn business.

Delete.

I played the bigger woman card.

"Um, I do not know you. I don't need to explain myself to you, whoeveryouare. Please stop talking to me."


Silence. Ahh... Then there it was. That little red notification bugger. She was at it again.

This time she informs me that she had gone through my photos and noticed that I use a Graco Nautilus car seat for Boogie and wanted to know how old she was because according to manufacture directions, children under the age of 1.....blah blah blah.

I stopped reading.

(Her comment, not the manufacturers directions, I've read those...many times. Those of you that know me, know that.)

Note to self: Check privacy settings. 

That's right about when the chick in me that usually takes the high road, took a hike herself, and the  snarky little B in me, reared her ugly head.

This woman was MILD, even NICE (okay, not really) compared to some of the other women I've met on Twitter. Those women? Vultures. Those women? Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby food making, vaginal birthing, treehuging, uber-moms who's only goal is to make the rest feel bad about our own mommyness.

---> Please know, I do not have anything against doing any of these things for your baby. It is recommended. It is good. It is HARD. You go with your bad self if you can make baby food and wash diapers after birthin' yo baby.... You. Are. A. Rock. Star.

Some of my favorite Mom's cloth diaper and make baby food, and they don't beat me over the head with their Bum Genius. (Looking at you @mamabmy!)

But this is not me.

So do I need to be told multiple times that I must be a terrible mother because I delivered by c-section?

I did not know this but apparently when you deliver vaginally, you release oxytocin, otherwise knows as the love hormone which helps with bonding and maternal instincts.

See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

Because I did not vaginally deliver, I did not give off oxytocin and, therefore, I do not love my Boogie. Am I getting that right?

My new favorite saying: Keep your opinions out of my scar and I'll keep mine out of your vagina.

Do you see this little face?

I live, breathe and die by those brownish-green eyes. I kiss those cheeks goodnight and miss her until she wakes up in the morning. I watch her sleep on the monitor and CRIED the first time I had to let her cry it out, for her own good. I worry daily about the world I brought her into and what it will be for her after I am gone. Most importantly, I think it would be impossible for me to love ANYTHING more than I love this kid and her father.

So if you think for a second,  because I don't breastfeed, won't spin my own cotton to make cloth diapers, can't grow my own vegetable garden for organic baby food or whatever else is new in uber-mommying,.. it means that I don't love that little face and everything attached to it....think again.



UPDATE:
Okay, just to clarify, Twitter & Facebook are not crawling with B's. 99.9% of the people I have met are awesomesauce. This post is just me and my encounters with the ridiculousness of mommy-on-mommy judgment.  I'm tougher than the average cookie but not everyone is.  This is for the Moms that are just looking to their peers for advice and conversation and get this crap in return. Can't we all just get along? Kumbaya anyone?