An open letter to my mother on Mother's Day.

Dear Mom,

I forgot to mail your Mother's Day card.

*face palm*

Well actually, I forgot to BUY your Mother's Day card which would make it almost impossible to mail it so forgetting to mail it kinda sorta makes sense.

So as much as I would like to SAY it was my brilliant idea all along to just do an "Ode to my Mama" post....it wasn't.

And even though Rutherford laughed and smiled when I told him what I was going to do, I'm sure he was thinking I was a forgetful jerkface.

Regardless, let's just pretend this was my idea all along, shall we?

(This is going to be better than a stupid generic Hallmark card anyway.)

Boogie is getting so big. She's pretty much running all over the house and no wiener dog is safe. By the end of the day I'm exhausted and counting the minutes till the glorious BEDTIME has arrived.

I don't know how you did it.

The other day I cleaned my house, planned dinner for the week, went to the grocery store with baby to get supplies for dinner, brought her home, made dinner, left her with Rutherford to go BACK to the grocery store to do all the rest of the shopping for the week, came home and ate dinner (your pork chop recipe), then went BACK to the grocery store because I forgot the toothbrushes....you can see where this is going.

This was one day.

With one kid.

You had FIVE.

And I can count the number of times we had takeout or leftovers on one hand.

??

Most importantly, I never felt ignored, unappreciated or unloved.

You introduced me to purple eyeshadow, you played dress up with me in your closet, you put flowers in my hair for church, you taught me how to play backgammon, you let me drive when Dad wouldn't.. :)

You took on 2 ungrateful brats and gave birth to 3 of the most amazing people I know.

You cooked, you cleaned, you diapered, you home schooled, disciplined, coddled, you taught, lead by example, played, laughed, put up with Dad, wiped butts, noses and hands.... You raised a family.

I could have done without the standing in the corner part. But that's just me.

Between slamming doors, pouting and generally being a pain in the ass, I'm pretty sure I didn't say 'Thank You' enough when I was a kid, so I'll say it now...

Thank you.

God gave me two mother's but only one Mom.

Happy Mother's Day, tell Dad to rub your feet, you deserve it.

If I were you, I'd start with food and move up from there.

Grandma, this is Boogie. Boogie, this is Grandma.

 

*Mother's Day cards by Aunt Becky at MommyWantsVodka.com

Unsolicited advice for you pregnant 1st timers out there...

I get asked a lot for tips and tricks when it comes to everything baby.

I don't know why other than I HAVE a baby and work for a baby company. Neither which make me an expert.

However, I am lazy and/or cheap smart and from this comes the problem solving skills of a ninja.

So sit back, relax and be ready to take in the awesomeness that is this list....

1. Invest in the good, long lasting furniture. They will take it to college. Something timeless and well made. This is something your kid will be climbing on top of, into, out of. You want it to be sturdy and well made. Plus, with the convertible cribs now, they go from infant to baby to toddler bed, and lastly to a full. So you better like looking at it.

2. Borrow, don't buy, a bassinet if you feel you NEED to have one. We used ours for the first 2 weeks in our bed room but then moved her into her own room. Turns out, WE were the ones waking HER at night. And get your mind out of the gutter. Rutherford has allergies and coughs in his sleep and I, apparently but I don't believe it, snore. Whatever...

Once she was moved into her own room she slept much better and so did we. We never subscribed to the co-sleeping either. To this day she has NEVER slept in our bed. As much as I have wanted to put her in bed with me, I haven't. Once you go that way, I hear it's hard to go back.

3. Since we're talking about infant in the crib, lets talk about the adorable bedding options. We have the Penelope Nursery bedding from Pottery Barn Kids. It took me FOREVER to decide on bedding, I went to every store and looked at every pattern. Finally I got some great advice from my sister-in-law, Celena, she said invest in nice bedding, it will last longer than the cheaper stuff. Well, for the money that was spent on this stuff, Boogie is taking it to college. But it's GORGEOUS and I love it.

Baby safety 101: The only thing that should be in a infant crib is the infant and a sheet. Anything else, including the beautiful and expensive bumper, is a suffocation and SIDS risk. As they get older, you can add a woobie, or toy. We actually have put the bumper in now what Boogie is over a year because shes been getting her legs stuck in the bars when she sleeps. But until now, it's been on the floor of the closet. What a waste. But, if you're even the slightest bit crafty and want to do something awesome with the bumper, go here. They show how to make a super cute valance from your unused bumper. I'm going to be trying it out pretty soon. I'll let you know how it goes.

As far as her beautiful comforter goes? It's hanging on the wall. I'll be pulling it down for use when we make the bed into a toddler bed. It was just too cute to stay in the closet and she needed stuff on her walls. Win-win.

Super duper awesome tip alert! I hate changing sheets. Hate it. And with a bumper (hey it's your crib and your kid, we had bumpers and we survived) changing sheets in basically impossible. Changing poop/barf filled sheets in the middle of the night...forget it. My solution? Layering!


I put 3 sets of sheets on the bed at a time with disposable changing pads in between. When it comes time to change the sheets just grab the corner from between the bars and pull. Toss the changing pad and VOILA! New clean sheet when you need it.

4. Keep a pack of diapers in a size up for night time if you wake up to soaked baby every morning. (This is for when they start sleeping through the night.) Going a size up at night is also great for babies with diaper rash. Gives more breathing room and helps heal faster. We use Huggies Overnights because Boogie would be SOAKED every morning, this solved that problem and now we have almost no diaper rash issues either.

5. Diaper pail=necessary. Yeah I learned this one late. We had a stinky nursery because of it. I did a bunch of research and found Munchkin Diaper Pail to be worth the money. Works well, highly rated and safe. Apparently, on the inside of a Diaper Genie there is a really sharp edge used to cut the bags. Um, no. My curious kid would be in there and bleeding in no time. I'll pass, thankyouverymuch.

6. Spend the money on a good VIDEO monitor!!!! I can't push this product enough. We started out with the audio monitor because I couldn't justify the expense but, OMG, this changed our lives! I blogged about it here. I highly recommend the Summer Infant monitor in my blog post. Now that Boogie is walking, I have used it to scan the room to see what she's doing in her room and I have told her to lie down during nap time.

Side note: the talk back feature is awesome. Okay, so it KINDA freaks her out when the "voice from the sky" tells her to lay down, but whatever. It works and she lays down. And I had to laugh when my brother got on there and told her it was "The Lord".

7. Wiener dogs are handy when it comes to child cleanliness. Go figure.

8. Nursing is hard. Anyone that nurses their baby deserves a medal. I did for 5 weeks and that's all I could do. If you choose not to, or can't, don't let anyone (I'm talking to you crunchy judgmental mommies) tell you that you're a bad mom.

When I couldn't do it anymore I felt bad but it turned out to be good for us. Rutherford was now able to feed her and it helped with his bonding time and he LOVED it. AS for the type of formula we used, believe it or not, we used Kirkland brand from Costco.

My sister-in-law has been a post pardum nurse for years and she told me that it was what the other nurses and doctors used. If they trust it, so do I. At a year we switched to Soy milk.

Super duper awesome tip alert! There is nothing fun about getting up 3 times a night to nurse in those early weeks so to make the time a little easier for *ME* I would Tivo all the crap reality shows that Rutherford wouldn't watch and that I wouldn't normally have time to watch, and watch them then. It got to the point where I was like "Sweet! Baby is up, now I can see what happened to Tracy on Jerseylicious!"

Also, nursing makes you HUNGRY. Like lumberjack hungry. I would get nauseous when I would nurse from hunger. On average, you burn up to 600 calories a day nursing so you're going to need to eat. My wonderful mother-in-law made bags and bags of muffins of all types for me. These were perfect for middle of the night snacks and easy to open and eat with one hand while the other hand is busy holding the baby that is stuck to your boob.

9. People always ask what the best thing I got for my shower that I didn't register for. Great question and the answer is Sleep Sheep. This is a white noise machine disguised as a stuffed sheep. It latches on the to the crib, carseat or stroller as needed. This has been invaluable to us. Since the day she was born we have put this on for EVERY nap or bed time, on the same sound. Since it is portable, this is helpful when we go to the In-Laws. It doesn't matter where she is, she will hear the same sound at nap time, which drowns out any noise she isn't used to hearing, in a strange house, and helps her sleep. This is a MUST have.

We have even used this in the car on a long drive to Flagstaff when she was about 6 months old. I put a blanket over the carrier and turned the sheep on and she was O-U-T.

10. Now lets talk shopping. I have TONS of super cute stuff and I will tell you now, I don't pay full price for almost anything. Here's how I do it:

Coupons are your friend. Babies R Us does a 20% off every month to every other month. However, they don't take expired coupons. I tend to go to BuyBuyBaby more than Babies R Us anyway. They pretty much have the same things EXCEPT BuyBuyBaby takes all competitors coupons AND those awesome 20% off coupons to Bed,Bath&Beyond coupons you've been stock piling (and if you're not, you should be!) They also have better customer service. You don't have to look far to find someone super knowledgeable and helpful. Their return policy is great too!

Get to know your local child consignment stores. Lets face it, kids clothes can be SPENDY and they tend to wear it once, maybe twice before they grow out of it. Especially if they are under 6 months. These places are great and you can often find stuff with TAGS! Best deal is always on baby shoes, they will always look brand new because, lets face it, they never touch the ground. Score!

Use your online resources. I love baby deal sites. My favorites are Mamabargains.com and TheMiniSocial.com. I can personally vouch for both of these sites as I have ordered MANY things from them. Mamabargains runs a deal until it sells out then will run a new one. Just yesterday I ordered this Day Tripper tote for $16 (regularly $40) because it is the smaller version of my FAVORITE bag The Weekender that I also got for $18 (regularly $58). I get asked every time I use my Weekender where I got it so getting the smaller version was a no-brainer. Boogie even has the ORE Origionals Kiddie Backpack from TheMiniSocial, paid $8, regularly $20. The difference with the MiniSocial is they run about 20 deals for a week.

Super duper awesome tip alert! Kids grow out of their clothes FAST! Keep a Tupperware bin (w/o the lid) in the babies closet. When you go into the closet to find something to wear for the day and come across something too small, just take it off the hanger and into the bin it goes. Easy! When the bin gets full, put the lid on and label it and into storage it goes. I have bins labeled 0-3, 3-6, and 6-12. If you are really a stickler, like me, I go through the closet bin when it's full and make sure everything goes into its proper sized bin. This is going to make my life so easy when the next one comes along, or it's time to pass along to a cousin. Hint hint Sarah! :)

11. Lastly, being a Mom, especially a NEW first time Mom is scary and hard AND lonely at times. Use your resources. Maybe it's just me but I felt comfort in knowing I wasn't alone so I reached out to Twitter. Think about it, a bunch of other mothers reaching out to each other, cheering each other on and offering advice is brilliant no matter where it comes from. I have made some great friends and have an amazing resource. I have sent out every question in the book from what to make for dinner, what to do about lingering diaper rash, how to interview a babysitter and why is my face breaking out! And that was just yesterday! Responses come back from everyone from Mom's to experts like Dr.Perricone, Heidi Murkoff (author of What To Expect When You're Expecting), BabyCenter.com and Dr.Lynne Kenny (nationally recognized child behavioral therapist). Not to mention other moms, just like me.

In addition to the great people, you will also find some great companies. Summer Infant, Safety 1st, Munchkin, Cuisenart, Pampers, Huggies, Yes To Carrots and Eucerine, just to name a few. These companies have had personal contact with me, each with amazing customer service and advice.

You can find me on Twitter as @BetterHalfMommy and I answer any question you can send, and if I can't, i'll find you a resource who can.

I hope this helps! Want to add to this list? Go for it in the comments! The more the merrier!

Fraggle Rock!

Is it me or does she look like a Fraggle?

Easter Bunnies, crying kids, and crashing cars...

So first off, I need to share with you Boogie's Easter Bunny photos that she took with her cousin Joya who mommy is Rutherford's sister Sarah. (The link is to her cute and hilarious blog, go check it out.)

We went to do the pictures on Friday of Easter weekend because there's nothing like waiting till the last minute so that you have the full Easter Bunny experience. Complete with crying kids, long lines and a disappearing Bunny. Yup, as we were waiting in line he disappeared on us. It wasn't to the bathroom because that's not the direction he went in. My guess is either a shot or a smoke, neither of which I blame him for. 

This is one for the history book. Poor Joya just wasn't having that Bunny. It's still cute and honestly, those are the best ones to look at when they are all grown up.

Case in point: This is my kindergarten class photo. Stupid photographer wouldn't let me fix my hair.

1982

Now, had this been a supper happy and toothy grin of me at 5 years old, you would not be seeing it. It's the stuff like this that therapy is made for.

Just for comparison sake, this is last years Easter Bunny photo. 

That adorable little peanut is Boogie. She was only about 3 weeks old at the time and slept through the whole thing. That's Joya on the left and the handsome dudes are my nephews.


Then came Saturday and it went a little something like this....

Okay, so maybe that's a big of an exaggeration but it feels just as bad...to my ego.

There we were, having a lovely time visiting with friends when me and my fatty fat fat self decides (in cave man voice)  MUST HAVE ICE CREAM! YUM!

Off I go with the my girlfriend, grabbing the keys to Rutherford's baby because the weather is beautiful and there's nothing like a convertible BMW on a warm summer night. We jump in, start her up, quick look behind me..Safety first! And....

***CRASH***

What the?

I pull up and look at her. She opens her door and says, "Oh that was just a water bottle."

Phew! Just ran over a water bottle I had left on the floor of the garage earlier.

Okay, back in reverse, off we go again and....

***CRASH***

What the?

"OH MY GOD! That's your CAR!!!!"

Mind you, this is not just a car, it's a brand NEW LEXUS.

::face palm::


We get out, inspect the damage and figure out how the hell we're going to tell the boys what just happened.

When we finally do get it together enough to go in the house we find the boys both holding GUNS. Ugh. This just keeps getting better. Did I tell you our friends is a SWAT Cop? And that he and Rutherford are both holding weapons as the words, "I just hit your car" come out of my mouth?

At first they thought we were kidding, and oh sweet baby Jesus, I wish I was.

After close inspection by the boys they both look at me and say, "Oh well, that's what insurance is for." And they are right and the insurance company said it's fine, as well. Easy peasy.

Didn't stop me from crying the next morning, still completely mortified, or still feeling like a Class-A schmuck to this day.

In my defense: It was dark outside, the car is black and I'm not used to there being something in the driveway.

Still, ugh.

I want to take a second to openly thank Chris and Monique for not shooting me when I hit their car. Thank you for your understanding and I promise not to mess up anything else of yours ever again. I can't make that promise for my kid tho, she did break a coaster the last time we were there. But if she does get out of hand, there's always the dog crate.

Hope you all had a Hoppy and Happy Easter. :)

Everything happens for a reason....

Wow, it feels like it's been forever since I've posted. Probably because it has been. Sorry!

Since the birthday party, we've had 2 other parties at our house and a 4 day visit from 15 year old triplets.

Let me repeat: 15 YEAR OLD TRIPLETS.

There honestly should be a bronze statue of their parents. There should be a bronze statue of all parents of multiples, for that matter.

These particular set are Rutherford's cousins and we love them. They are too much fun even when I'm telling them to get off the roof (yup!) and that, No, I'm not going to let them watch The Hangover because I am afraid their mom will kill me.

On top of seeing things in 3's, I also caught a case of the stomach flu. Well, Boogie gave me a case of the stomach flu.

That day was a really fabulous day since I was all high on exercise endorphins from Zumba class the night before, so Rutherford and I decided to pop open a good bottle of wine before he started his month long "alcohol fast".

(Just for the record, the MONTH LONG alcohol fast should last, say, I don't know, just throwing out ideas here so stop me if I'm wrong but A MONTH! I'll be sure to remind Rutherford of that, as soon as he puts his drink down.)

We drank, we laughed, we played Scrabble.

The next day I felt a bit odd. A little hung over which was surprising because I had only 2 and a half glasses of wine. And yeah, I'm a bit of a lightweight, but Good Lord, not THAT big of one!

As the day progressed things went down hill and by the time Rutherford got home from work I was a crying puddle on the floor of the living room. Complete with barf on my shirt (still not sure if it was mine or Boogies), in my hair (probably mine), and a baby with a dirty diaper (for sure not mine).

The look on his face when he saw me was one of 'oh dear Lord please say I walked into the wrong house because this mess cannot belong to me'.

Poor dude. 

I'll spare you the rest of the details but the next 3 days were not very fun, for either of us. But we're now completely healed and healthy AND 4 pounds lighter, thankyouverymuch.

So the other day I was once again on an exercise high from Zumba class the night before, so I decided to clean the garage in order to fit MY car in. You see, recently Rutherford purchased a very pretty convertible, which kicked my mom car out of the coveted garage spot. Pish!

I am taking back the garage! Dammit!

There is something so therapeutic that happens to your soul when purging crap from your life. But there is also the sadness that comes from putting stuff away.

The cute stuff, not all the crap. The infant carrier, the baby swing, the pack & play, the walker, the bouncy....

All the stuff that my, now toddler, has no use for anymore.

Sigh.

Rutherford says this is a good thing. It means shes healthy and happy and growing. But it breaks my heart just as much as it did the first time I had to clean out her drawers and stash away anything labeled 'Newborn'.

He may not get it but I know you moms do.

We welcome in and are excited for every new stage but at the same time are just a bit sad to say goodbye to the last one.

Among all the crap that was thrown away I found a box that I didn't know I had.

A box from before.

God had a plan for my life much bigger than I would have ever dreamed. A little of advanced warning would have been nice, but that's not how God works.

I was previously married... and after 4 years of dating and 1 year of marriage, I was given a bit of divine intervention in the shape of a 26 year old business card peddler but the name of 'Tanya'.

At the time, like most things like this, it was so tragic. So painful. It was the end of my world.

What do you do with that? You have your whole life settled and planned and it's taken away.

The betrayal. Ugh. Not to mention the 'what if's?' and all the other questions that run through your head. Has she been in my car? My kitchen? My bedroom? Has she met my friends? Do people know? Do I look like the biggest idiot in town?

Yes.

The problem when you go through this type of thing is that you feel like you NEED to know EVERYTHING. But really, you don't. And you shouldn't.

You can't stop yourself though. You ask, and they answer, usually out of guilt. The answers haunted me, as I'm sure they do for everyone but the good thing about knowing everything thing was that it made it very easy to go from love and pain to hate and disgust. And when you have hate and disgust in your heart, it makes it very easy to just move on.

Exactly what I did.

It's been a few years now and the feelings of hate and disgust have been replaced by gratitude.

I know, huh! Surprised me too! But I am grateful!

Had he not done something so terrible, so drastic, I would have stayed in a marriage I see now, wasn't what marriage is supposed to be like. We were so wrong for each other and I made excuses for the short comings.

One day, not too long after I made a new life for myself, I went for a run. On that run I made a mental list.

THIS is what I'm looking for, THIS is what I will not compromise, THIS is what I am willing to give of myself in return.

And I am proud to say that I have stuck buy the list I made on that day. Every single item. It was easy to do too, because THIS is who came into my life...

We laugh all the time. He kisses me goodbye every morning, even if I'm still asleep. He says 'thank you' for the smallest things. He thinks I'm pretty even if he doesn't like what I'm wearing. He grants me the freedom and respect to be me, and loves me more for it. He appreciates me and what it means to take care of our home and life. He loves my crazy family.

He loves me in a way I have never been loved before. With respect, compassion, appreciation and equality...

I love him for everything he does. He works so hard so that I can stay home and raise our daughter. He is generous, kind and loving (unless you're driving poorly in front of him, then all bets are off). He has the softest heart for animals and children. He still has friends from childhood that he talks to on a regular basis, which I think says a lot about a person. I think he's the handsomest dude I've ever seen, even when his shirt doesn't match his shorts (which happens more than I ever mention:)). I love HIS crazy family.

Every day he gives me 50 more reasons to love him.

Now back to the box.

It's still sitting there. For no other reason other than I need to go through it and make sure there's nothing in it, like personal information, before I toss it all.

And when I do, it will be an uneventful recycling of paper...like junk mail...only with less good stuff like 20% off at Bed Bath & Beyond.

PS.
I know I'm lucky that I can look back at this and see the reasoning for it and I know that doesn't happen for everyone. But if it wasn't for the support of my amazing parents, family and friends during those tough times, I'm not sure where I'd be. So thank you to you all. 

Funny Crap My Husband Says...

Today I hopped on my laptop to check my email and saw that I had gotten an instant message from Rutherford who was at work. He sent me this.

I read it and laughed and replyed how brilliant it was because I've heard most of those myself.

That's when he says to me, "Stay at home Moms are the Rodney Dangerfield's of women."

I just about spit out my grape juice. Where does he come up with this stuff?

If you know him personally, you can attest to the fact that he is most deinfatly one of the funniest people on the planet and says some of the most random things at some of the most random of times.

I laugh at this man all the time and not just because he looks like this. :)

He's the kind of guy that will make you laugh in the midst of an argument, when laughing is the LAST thing you want to do.

Case in point: We were going back and forth about something (I don't remember what it was about but i'm sure I was right..whatever it was) and after my complaining about something specific he looks me right in the face with a smile and says, "Well that's just part of my charm!"

Okay you win. How do you even argue with that? You can't.

So in honor of him, and becasue some things you just have to share, i'm starting a new segment on my blog called "Funny Crap My Husband Says".

I will be updating as need be and feel free to comment and share some of the funny crap your husband/kids/etc say.

I'm sure now that Boogie is starting to talk we will be adding Funny Crap My Boogie says...she is, after all, her father's daughter.

Quick, grab the camera!

Ever since the day Boogie started to crawl she has earned the nickname "4x4", for a very good reason.

This kid thinks nothing of any road block in her way. Why go around the chair when you can go through the chair? Mountain of toys in your path? Pish! That's easy! Innocent sleeping wiener dogs ahead? Bring it on....

She has spent many an afternoon using the dining room as her own personal jungle gym.

But THIS takes the cake.

On St.Patty's Day I was doing all the preparations on what would become the worlds best corned beef and cabbage (just ask Rutherford), and I noticed the house was just a little too quiet.

You other moms know what I mean. Just too quiet for any little person to be up to any good.

So, I did what any other awesome mom would do: I grabbed my camera and went looking for the kid.

This is what I found....

How do you not laugh when you see that?

Those are the best little fat rolls in the world. But that's just my opinion.